excommunication by the Amish, he had hiked to the nearest town, where he dumped the shoo-fly pie into the first trash can he could find, bought a new set of non-black clothes, and changed his name to Benny. He then wandered the streets, looking for food and companionship. He found them in a corner café, where he met a kindly minister of the Gospel, who introduced himself as Reverend Barnabas and invited him to sit down and share an apple pie. Within thirteen minutes, Benny had embraced the tenets of foursquare Christianity and had promised to give his life to the ministry of the Church in exchange for room and board and a small allowance. It happened that Reverend Barnabas, who was nearing sixty, had a young wife whom he had saved from the life of the street. Lucy spent several evenings a week in the church sanctuary communing with God, openly petitioning Him to relieve her of her childless state. Listening from behind a pew one evening, Benny learned of her plight and came forth to offer his sympathy. Touched by his concern, she pressed his hand to her heart. Touched by her grief, he asked her what he could do to relieve it. She put her head to one side and smiled at him through her tears. “Oh Benny,” she exclaimed, “you are an answer to my prayers!” “Ja,” he replied in a good German accent, “I vas up brought to halp vun anodder,” and on the floor of that sanctuary, Benny Good did as he had been brought up. § “Well I’ll be damned! A Holy Roller!” marveled Bright. “Any bad experiences?” “Several,” said Benny. Though he did not volunteer any further information, he may have been thinking of the twins God had sent to relieve Lucy of her barren state. “What about good experiences? Have any of those?” Benny considered this question carefully. “Well—I got the chance to do the work of the Lord.” “Yeah? I guess that’s gotta count for something.” “It made me what I am today,” declared Benny, snuffing out his Nico. “Host of ‘Religion Talk.’” “Trucker,” said Benny, standing up. “Sit down, Benny.” Benny headed for the door. Bright beat him there and turned around and confronted him. “Hold it right there, Benny,” he said. “Let’s just stop and think about this for a minute. One, you got the gift. Why waste it on the road, listening to crap like country music and talk shows? Why not have your own talk show? Face it. You got the gift, point one. Add to that this fantastic background. Two religions, Amish and Holy Roller! Plus a course in World Religions! My God! Perfect for something like ‘Religion Talk.’ So you had a few bad experiences. Who hasn’t? That’s why people would wanna tune in. They could identify. This business is built around the concept of identification. That’ll be the whole point of ‘Religion Talk.’ Identification. You show me somebody with a religious background and I’ll show you somebody who can identify.” “Blessed are those who identify,” observed Benny. “Exactly!” agreed Bright, pounding his slight fist on the desk. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” “That’s because Benny’s the guy with the gift.”
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